


Frozen blossoms

by KenjiroS



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, I have no idea, Inspired by Music, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 15:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20155663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KenjiroS/pseuds/KenjiroS
Summary: How many times could a soul forget before there was nothing left ? How many times could a heart hate before it burnt itself to ashes before all it had left was cold indifference ?Daishou sees an unfamiliar face and wonders...if said individual would consider him just as unfamiliar.





	Frozen blossoms

**Author's Note:**

> Great big thanks to Rider_of_Spades who suggested the amazing song that inspired this. The song is, by the way, 楊宗緯 + 張碧晨 - 凉凉 (官方歌詞版) - 中視《三生三世十里桃花》片尾曲 ( Yang Zong Wei and Zhang Pi Chen - Liang Liang ) and you can find it here -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pb-kc6DWIDI . And it's absolutely beautiful.

How many times could a soul forget before there was nothing left ? How many times could a heart hate before it burnt itself to ashes before all it had left was cold indifference ? How many times would he have to be punished for one single misunderstanding, how many lives would he have to watch fly by before the spirit he kept looking for with every breath no longer existed ? How many times could hatred burn a brand into a mind before it was even born ?

Suguru sat on the bar in the dark club, legs crossed and eyes on the booth in the far corner.

Eighty three. Eighty three times. Because he was sure that if there was an eighty fourth, there would be no recognition in the other man’s eyes. No hatred. No burning desire for destruction. No disdain. Not even indifference. Nothing. They would be strangers. And he knew that would be the end of him.

Hopping down from the bar, not paying any attention to the patrons who moved to give way, he walked to the booth, chin up and smirk firm on his lips. He felt, some days, that it was so chipped and broken it could never pass for a real one. It had been failing him for a while now. During the panther’s last reincarnation he had tried his best to keep it real. But with his heart bleeding in his chest, choking and drowning him in his own blood, he found he couldn’t keep it up. Sitting on a tree branch, half a century ago, he’d realised he couldn’t feel it anymore. He couldn’t feel anything. Just the time slipping through his lungs. Watching the grave draped in flowers and offerings, he couldn’t shed even one tear. But that was old news. He hadn’t cried in a century.

But he could fake it. He could try one more time.

Humans parted before him and he walked, keeping the smile on his lips. One more time.

In the booth, the patrons all raised their eyes to him. He could recognise them all, he realised. All the allies the panther had collected throughout the years and all of their past lives, all of them were there. All eleven. He’d never seen them in the same place and time before. Was this a sign ? That this would be the last time the panther lived ? Was it going to be nothing more than a human one more time and then turn to dust and bones and fleeting memories ? Was this how all the great gods were fated to end ? Forsaken, declawed, defanged ? Nothing more than meager lives, shorter than a fly’s, less significant than a blade of grass ? If the panther looked at him and their eyes slid along his face, though…He would rather meet the fire than fade away into oblivion. He would walk in the eternity and let go of his loose clutch of his life. Because what would be the point ?

Eleven pairs of eyes, but not the ones he looked for. The panther was just sitting there, human form as perfect as always, because not even the fates would dare to tarnish their image. The shape was male this time, strong, wide shouldered. Powerful.

_ Look at me._

The other were blinking at him. They were probably confused, a small part of his mind reminded him. Unlike the panther, they never kept any memories of him. Of them. They were just companions reborn again and again to be partners to the panther in a loud mockery of everything he was and had always tried to be. They never remembered the panther and the panther never remembered them. And yet they were the ones who got to be around them while he stood on the sides, waiting for a scrap of affection.

He hadn’t received that since before the panther met the dawn the first time. And it definitely hadn’t happened in any of the next eighty two times. He’d lost hope long time ago, he realised with a distinct lack of surprise. Even his apathy was not strange enough to force a reaction. How pitiful. He’d been going on sheer stubbornness the last two reincarnations at least. Because he refused to accept that the panther simply didn’t want to keep going and was happy to forget a little more with each life. He…refused.

The panther still wasn’t looking up.

_Look at me !_

He loosened his tight fists. There wasn’t much left in him, no more fight, no more spite. No more poison, no more power. He wasn’t the fierce and sneaky being he’d been millennia ago. Now, he was just tired. Not even thinking about begging. He’d done that once, the last time. The panther had looked at him like he was crazy, and then had run away. That life had been long, painfully long. They had lived past a hundred and he had marked every year with a tally on his heart. The poor muscle was probably so tattered by now he wondered how it hadn’t given up on him. How did he keep going when it felt like it had rotten in behind his ribs long time ago.

The panther was still refusing him. Again.

_ Just look at me like you know me, you bastard !_

\- Hey. You got a problem or something ? – He didn’t even turn to the man who had spoken. He didn’t matter, not really. Nothing mattered. Because the panther had given up. Not acknowledging him. Obviously not feeling his presence. Not feeling the hatred, the disgust, the frost. Not feeling anything. They had given up with their last death. He was too late.

Suguru stepped back. For the first time since…Since before he could remember, he wanted to run. He’d been too late. He stepped back and spun on his heels. He had to get away from…from that empty shell. The panther was gone. What was left was nothing more than a human, with all their faults and flaws and fragile bones and tiny lives. The world had officially had enough of his kind and this was the last warning. Melt in the void, drown in oblivion, or your death will drag through centuries until you lose everything that used to define you. Every memory, every emotion, every little scrap of power.

He was done. There would be no need to wait for the end of that reincarnation. There would be no point in waiting to see the next one. He’d been wrong. It hadn’t been eighty three lives. It had been eighty two. He should had tried harder last time. Because that had been the end. Only his hubris hadn’t let him see it. His pride. His stubbornness. He’s let the last chance slip through his fingers.

He had to…Get away. From the club. The city. The continent ? The dimension ? Life ? He had to…

\- Oi. – He stopped, one hand almost in the air to call a taxi. Some stranger dared to speak to him. He wasn’t violent, not really, not usually, he preferred snark and banter, but at that one moment he knew he would cross any line. He was too close. To what, he wasn’t sure, but he could feel the vibrations right below his skin. And the human who had made the mistake of addressing him was about to have his wet little lump of a brain blasted into another dimension. He turned to look at the bastard… - You know, if you wanted my number so badly, you could’ve just bought me a drink. I would’ve given it to you. Either tonight, or tomorrow morning, however you wanted this to play out. I’m Kuroo, by the way. And you ?

**Author's Note:**

> If you ask me what this was, I would not be able to answer. But still, tell me what you think. I am more than curious.


End file.
